No longer a society for the funnymen

Four of Pakistan’s top comedy performers have died in less than a month. The first to depart was Liaquat Soldier, the funnyman with his distinct streetwise style of Karachi’s Kharadar. The next to go were Mastana and Baboo Baral, who, for years, enthralled audiences at the theatres of Punjab. Finally, it was Moin Akhtar, a master of his craft, a legend, whose unique talents and versatility to create humour we were so familiar with.

All four of them died of age-associated illnesses. But the mind wanders to the realm of endless possibilities. One might wonder why suddenly our comedians? Why now? It is more than just a coincidence? Has Pakistan become a place so grim that the funnymen cannot stand living here anymore? Comedians are motivated to carry on by the laughter of their audiences. Is it becoming harder to wipe off the glum look from people’s faces? Do they have to entertain much tougher crowds now? In a depressed society that Pakistan is fast turning into, if it hasn’t already, it is becoming increasingly difficult to make people happy. The four men who are no longer with us had made billions smile and laugh for so many years. Perhaps they thought that their stuff isn’t working anymore. The audiences are too depressed now. A lifetime of bringing smiles on so many faces and then reaching a point where this job becomes too arduous a task must be heartbreaking. Perhaps they died with a broken heart.

Artistes – especially comedians – are very sensitive people. They get overwhelmed by what is happening in their surroundings. Sometimes more than they should. The poor creatures allow emotions to get the better of them. It might be that they were engulfed by the gloominess they saw around them.

In Pakistan, with each passing day, there are fewer reasons to cheer about. You turn on the TV and you are bombarded with bad news almost every other minute. A glance at the headlines in newspapers is enough to start taking Prozac.

Our disfigured society, riddled with the plagues of intolerance and extremism brought upon us by the men with beards and those clean-shaved ones who have a beard hidden in their stomach, must be excruciatingly painful for someone who makes a living out of making other people see the lighter side of things.

Amid this melancholic atmosphere, the funnymen don’t stand a chance. And that is perhaps why they wish to leave for their heavenly abode and escape from the nauseating stench of hate, prejudice, double standards and a lack of respect for other human beings that our society has to offer. Rest in peace Liaquat Soldier, Mastana, Baboo Baral and Moin Akhtar, and thank you for all the good times that you gave us. This society was probably no more a place for the likes of you anyway.

The errors of their ways

With the good riddance of Osama bin Laden, The Guardian has published the world’s most wanted list as it stand now and guess who makes it to the second slot in that ranking – none other than Dawood Ibrahim, the head of the Mumbai-based, 5,000-member organised crime syndicate D-Company, which has engaged in everything from narcotics and counterfeits to weapon smuggling and contract killing.

He is currently on the wanted list of Interpol for organised crime and counterfeiting. He was ranked fourth on the Forbes' World's Top 10 most dreaded criminals list of 2008.

After the 1993 Mumbai bombings that killed 257 people and wounded 713 - allegedly organised and financed by Ibrahim - he became India's most wanted man.

The US, maintaining that Ibrahim had close links with bin Laden, declared him a “global terrorist” in 2003 and pursued the matter before the United Nations in an attempt to freeze his assets around the world and crack down on his operations. The US government claims that the kingpin of the criminal world shares smuggling routes with al Qaeda and has collaborated with both al-Qaeda and its affiliate, Lashkar-e-Taiba, which allegedly pulled off the November 2008 Mumbai attacks, possibly with Ibrahim's help.

Unfortunately, Pakistan again comes into the limelight when Ibrahim’s issue comes up.

There have been numerous claims that he was, or probably still is, is a ‘guest’ in Pakistan just like bin Laden, protected by appearance-altering plastic surgery and friends in Pakistani intelligence community.

Urban legends in Karachi are that he lives somewhere in the DHA area of the city and many claim to have seen the underworld don.

The fact that Pakistani cricket legend Javed Miandad’s son married Ibrahim’s daughter further fuels suspicions.

Now if these rumours are true, it is yet another example of our intelligence agencies’ never-ending list of blunders. What objectives can they achieve by treading this path of self-destruction, it is anybody’s guess. Perhaps it all comes down to their eternal hatred for India. But in the process, what they are really doing is weakening their own country and tainting its image in the eyes of the world. We can only hope that our spy agencies can see the errors of their ways before it is too late.

Pak-India rivalry

The response that Pakistan’s Foreign Office could come up with to the US forces’ operation in Abbottabad was a very carefully selected one and even that was not meant for the Americans, but was actually an indirect message for another country.

Foreign Secretary Salman Bashir warned that it will be catastrophic if any other country even imagines it can follow the example of the United States. He said that if any country ever acted on the assumption that it had a right to unilateralism of any sort, it would be construed as a miscalculation that could result in terrible catastrophe. There are no doubts that this warning was meant for India, which would also like to target some individuals in Pakistan – whom it believes are responsible for terrorist attacks on the Indian soil.

The message to the Americans from the GHQ was more potent, but again, it was also rather subdued than the fierce tone that could have been used considering that the country’s sovereignty had been breached.

Chairing a Corps Commanders’ Conference, Chief of the Army Staff General Ashfaq Parvez Kayani hinted that military and intelligence cooperation with the US might be reviewed if an Abbottabad-type action that violates the sovereignty of Pakistan takes place again.

The military leadership also kept its focus on India, as the participants of the meeting took serious note of the assertions made by the Indian military about conducting similar operations and made it made clear that “any misadventures would be responded to very strongly”.

Considering the tight spot that Pakistan is in after the discovery that Osama bin Laden was hiding, not in the caves of Afghanistan or the rigid terrain of Pakistan’s tribal belt, but the garrison city of Abbottabad, the sovereignty issue does not really come into contention as far as the US’ operation is concerned, apart from the obligatory reaction to the incident. But what matters more to Pakistan is that India should not be having ideas of acting in a similar manner. Would India embarking on a mission similar to that of the US be a bigger wrong than what the Americans did? No. Any country violating Pakistan’s sovereignty should be dealt with in the same manner, but it is a different argument that individuals involved in terrorist activities should not be finding refuge in Pakistan in the first place. Pakistan’s obsession with India knows no bounds. It needs to set its priorities straight. There are bigger problems than the old Pak-India rivalry.

An exit from the mess

As expected, Pakistani authorities are now up against the wrath of the global community for - what the latter believes - either hiding the recently slain al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden on their soil for years or being too inept to figure out that the world’s most wanted man was under living under their nose all along.

An anti-Pakistan mood prevails in the US Congress with many American lawmakers believing that the operation in Abbottabad has exposed the treachery of the Pakistani government.

Further complicating the matter is CIA chief Leon Panetta’s statement that Pakistan was not included in the mission to kill bin Laden as US officials feared it could have jeopardised the operation by alerting the targets.

What puzzles the US lawmakers is the fact that the al Qaeda chief was living in a complex close to a major military academy in the city of Abbottabad - where the armed forces have a large share in the property.

There are questions over whether Americans should continue military and economic assistance to a nation, which might be abetting al Qaeda.

Pakistan, caught in the middle of all sorts of crises one can think of due to its own self-destructive policies, is in dire need of US assistance and is denying that it had any information about bin Laden’s whereabouts.

But to make matters worse for itself, it is allowing organisations including Jamaatud Dawa to openly mourn the death of the man, who was responsible for the deaths of so many people - more Muslims than the followers of any other religion perhaps. Jamaatud Dawa is supposed to be a banned outfit, but every now and then, it stages rallies in major cities including Karachi and Lahore, a proof that it enjoys the authorities’ free hand. Newspapers all around the world and websites carrying images of Jamaatud Dawa members shedding tears for bin Laden at a funeral in absentia in Karachi surely won’t help matters for Pakistan.

One ray of light for the country is that the Obama administration hasn’t used harsh words for it yet. In fact, it is saying that Pakistani cooperation is essential for the war on terror in the coming days. Perhaps that might provide Pakistan with an exit from the mess it is currently stuck in, but at the same time, it can expect a much greater amount of “do more” pressure headed its way.

Moral victory for US but Pakistan has to prepare for backlash

Osama bin Laden is dead and buried… well dumped into the sea that is (It is interesting to see the a flood of tweets all likening this to the way the remains of Megatron, the villainous leader of the Decepticons in the blockbuster movie Transformers, were thrown into the sea, but the he later made a comeback in the movie’s sequel from his watery grave). However, it is not over yet… in fact far from it. Bin Laden was nothing more than a symbolic figure in the ranks of al Qaeda now. The organisation’s operations were being run by others. But nevertheless, it is a great moral victory and the death of perhaps the most hated man after Adolf Hitler would be a great blow to terrorists. But even as the US can celebrate the sweet taste of revenge for what the bin Laden did on September 11, 2001; the Pakistanis would have to prepare for a very terrible backlash from al Qaeda operatives and the Taliban.
After the news about bin Laden’s broke out, a bomb blast near a mosque in Charsadda killed a woman and three children and wounded five others. This incident might not be related to the news about bin Laden’s death, but the possibility cannot be counted out.
In an audio message issued to the Pakistani media from an undisclosed location, the Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan has said that it would avenge the killing of the al Qaeda chief. The most significant part of the message was that Pakistan is now the Taliban’s first target and the US the second. The death of the world’s most wanted man would dramatically alter the current scenario of policies and strategies and Pakistan would have to make changes accordingly.